My name is Delilah. I bet you're now singing the Tom Jones song, aren't you? Don't worry about it. I get that a lot, especially from the older generation. The younger ones usually sing the Plain White T's song at me which, let's be honest, is an improvement.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Me. I'm 27 and live in Greater Manchester (I am so not narrowing down my location - I've read the mad stalker stories in my mum's magazines). Unfortunately, I still live with my parents. I know! Sucks, right? I'm a complete saddo. I meant to move out like 9 years ago. I had plans to move into a swanky flat with my best friend, Lauren. But then she went away to university and I didn't (I thought cutting out the middle man and just getting a job was easier. I soon regretted that. Lauren had so much fun pissing about while I was stuck filing in an office).
Anyway, Lauren's back but she's too skint to move out of her parents' place so we're both stuck for the moment. I work in a biscuit factory, which isn't as exciting as it may sound. They make us pay for the wonky, broken biscuits. It's at a reduced rate, but still. Stingy or what? Thankfully I work in the office doing admin stuff (all the crap nobody else wants to touch) and not out on the shop floor. Can you imagine? You spend all day looking at nothing but biscuits! It would totally take the enjoyment out of eating them, wouldn't it? I'd never want to see a pigging biscuit again! My mate Karen (who does work on the shop floor) says she has nightmares about giant, woman-eating biscuits!
When I'm not at work (which I seem to be 99% of my life), I like going into town with Lauren and Ryan, my other best friend. My drink of choice is vodka - with pretty much anything. I also enjoy the odd glass of wine when I'm feeling sophisticated. Which isn't very often. I also workout twice a week (if you can call strolling on a treadmill for twenty minutes working out) but this is mainly because Lauren has a massive crush on one of the instructors.
I'm currently single (which has been the case for the past two years. I've been on dates but I always seem to end up with losers. Mum says I'm too picky. I say I've got a healthy self-esteem and won't settle for knobheads). I have a date tonight, actually. His name is Philippe (yes, he is French. And tres hot). I met him last week in town and gave him my number - and he phoned the next day. Very promising!
Anyway, I'd better start getting ready for my hot date soon so here are a few quick-fire things you may want to know about me:
- My middle name is Marigold (my parents don't hate me - it's a family name)
- Bees terrify me, the sting-y little fecks
- My favourite colour seems to change every week. This week it is emerald green
- I once played a tree in our school production of The Wizard of Oz. It did not go well.
- When I was little, I was desperate to be a ballerina. I went to two classes (after begging Mum for weeks) and swiftly changed my mind
- My favourite ice-cream is mint chocolate chip
Anyway, I'm off to beautify myself for Philippe. If there is anything else you'd like to know, just ask!
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